Doctor, Sometimes I Feel Like A Bulldozer

Two weeks ago, as I made my way into the city centre I was amazed by the number of men working at the side of the road digging a ditch. What was amazing was neither the fact that the new ditch would finally allow for the dirt road to be paved nor that these men were laboring in the midday sun. I was amazed because Tanzanians were, admirably, still relying on their own work force to build and maintain infrastructure. There is no shortage of labor in Tanzania or in other developing nations as a result of soaring unemployment rates. Yet so often it has been my experience, either through direct contact or through reading, that the governments of these countries begin to rely too heavily on the donations - sometimes machinery, other times an entire labor force - of larger donor countries in an effort to speed development. The results often find the developing country remaining idle or worse - moving in the opposite direction.

I am specifically thinking about a book I read recently where the author describes a like situation in Malawi. The locals are complaining about the condition of a national highway. The road wasn't always in such a mess, they confess, actually going so far as to say that the road was well maintained for several decades. But then an international donor jumped in and the Malawian government bit the bait. In an effort to help clear landslides from the road in a more timely fashion, a dozen bulldozers were donated to help maintain the highway. However, post-donation, the road is crumbling. The bulldozers' initial impact caused hundreds of laborers to lose their jobs because they were no longer needed to clear the rubble from the road. Then after several landslides, the bulldozers successfully clogged the roadside ditches that had been kept clean by the roadside laborers for years. This led to the roads being washed out by future rains and helped cause the mess they are today.

If you are still with me (I am waaayyyy up here, balancing on my three wobbly soap boxes typing this message) then I can say that I am including these two stories as a way of reflecting on what role I am playing here in Tanzania. Am I laboring with the ditch diggers or am I donating unneeded and unwanted bulldozers?

This remains the question that continues to riddle my stay here in Tanzania. I came to Tanzania with the hope of doing the former and yet as I continue to explore my position at Gonzaga Primary School I realize that such aspirations require more work than initially anticipated. I wrote in my last entry about trying to accept my role as a leaf floating down the river; however, my current position at Gonzaga makes it hard to simply drift with the Tanzanian current when teachers are asking me when and how they should submit tests and lesson plans. I am juggling how I am supposed to accompany the people with whom I live and work while also providing them with the leadership they expect from the position I hold at Gonzaga. More than anything, I recognize how important communication is in working with my colleagues. Essentially, when they ask me a question, I sit on it, return it back to them, wait for their answer, and then give them my reply, which closely resembles theirs. This works to a certain extent, but occasionnally I find myself frustrated by the roundabout way they may want to use and I suggest a way I think we could do things "more efficiently". This is when the question really emerges: ditchdigger or bulldozer? Am I working with the people in a way that will help them improve their own country's development or am I simply imposing my North American tribe's point of view in a way that may impede their progress?

Thank you all for your support in what has proven to be a challenging month away from home. Your warmth has been felt here and for this I am grateful.

**An aside: The roadside ditch in Mabibo was dug the length of at least two kilometres in about a week and a half. It is now being laid with stone.**